Stuff
By Stephan Hess, CFP® CDFA®
December 2024
Dear Clients and Friends,
Since this is the time of the year that we often give and receive “stuff,” I thought it would be interesting to talk about stuff—and also reveal a certain hard truth about it.
Some people love to collect stuff, while others try to live with as little of it as possible. We receive stuff from friends and family, and we go out and get stuff all on our own. Stuff can be financially valuable or have no marketable value at all. Stuff gets stored in closets, basements and garages, while other stuff gets proudly displayed. Some stuff has strong emotional value to us—like things from our childhood, special gifts, or items passed along to us by family. Some people intentionally collect stuff with a common theme, and of course, there are unhealthy addictions to stuff when people hoard it.
What is the right amount of stuff to have? I guess that is in the eye of the beholder, and it depends on how much clutter we can each tolerate. We have all heard the saying “you can’t take it with you.” This mostly refers to money, but I would include stuff in there as well. By holding garage sales or donating items, people try to eliminate stuff. This helps, but it seems that most of us continue to accumulate more stuff each year. There is often a real cost to stuff, and for some people, it can get in the way of managing a budget, accumulating wealth and achieving financial security. We all have our reasons for having stuff, and in many ways, our stuff reflects who we are. Walk into anyone’s house, and you can immediately tell a lot about a person by their stuff.
“There is often a real cost to stuff, and for some people, it can get in the way of managing a budget, accumulating wealth and achieving financial security.”
Last month, sadly, we had to move my father-in-law into assisted living. It went well, but we were not prepared to deal with all of his stuff. He was not a hoarder. He had all the normal things that someone would have to live independently and have a comfortable home. He was, however, a huge classic movie fan and spent much of his retirement collecting classic film posters, books, and lobby cards from his favorite films and actors from the 40s, 50s, and 60s. It’s a significant collection, but with early signs of cognitive degeneration, he no longer seemed interested.
Moving into assisted living meant downsizing and eliminating stuff—stuff that could not fit into his new two-room apartment was donated or carefully chosen by his children. His film memorabilia is sitting safely in climate-controlled storage for the time being. Unfortunately, he could no longer care for his dog, so he was given away. He was no longer a confident driver, so his car was sold. And, of course, his home would need to be sold as well to help pay for his care. Sadly, most everything else ended up in a huge, rented commercial dumpster outside his house. When my wife and I turned into his driveway after 8 hours of driving and saw the dumpster for the first time, it became very clear what we were there to do.
We spent an entire weekend filling that dumpster. Surprisingly, I found it harder to part with certain items than his children. Some of the items being tossed, I had seen in his house for 30 years. I grew comfortable with his stuff and enjoyed seeing it when visiting. I even secretly retrieved a few items from the dumpster that I just couldn’t let go. I have no use for them myself, but in the moment, it just seemed right. I’m sure everything we threw out meant something to him somehow, so reminding us that it was just stuff was mentally necessary to keep us focused and capable of finishing the job. In the end, we got it done, and all the family members who helped out bonded more tightly together. That was nice.
It is around this time of the year that we are often asked to reflect on our lives, the world around us and our hopes for the future. It is a chance to connect with the people who are important to us, to reconnect with our spiritual or religious beliefs and to set personal goals for the new year.
As you do this, please take a moment to ask yourself what role stuff has in your life. It’s a much deeper question than you think.
Happy Holidays,
Stephan Hess, CFP® CDFA®
Disclaimer: This material has been provided for general informational purposes only and does not constitute either tax or legal advice. Although we go to great lengths to make sure our information is accurate and useful, we recommend you consult a tax preparer, professional tax advisor, or lawyer.
